Just keep running, just keep running...

I haven't felt very motivated to write since my last post. A couple of reasons, mostly all due to frustration. My string of bad runs began last Friday night when we went out for a run, after I came home from work at 11:00pm. From Friday on, I had three miserable runs. Friday night I was just mad and frustrated with how tired I was, I was crabby and was taking it out on Nick -- at one point he said to me, "If you are just going to be mad at me, then we don't have to talk right now", I caught myself and told him that I wasn't mad at him, just myself. We ran Saturday evening and it was incredibly hot outside, the run started off with Nick having some issues with a shin splint and so we took a 10 minute break to hydrate and gather ourselves before we headed back out. I felt like I had gotten caught in a mental trap and wasn't able to get out of it; I was angry at myself for feeling so tired and for allowing myself to be in the shape I am in. I was battling my breathing and my mind, I went into panic mode and in the second to last run interval I broke down and started to cry. I felt like a wimp and was in a "woe is me" mindset. Nick helped me finish off that run stronger and I shook it off, hoping that after a day of rest I could pull myself together. We went to Kalamazoo on Sunday/Monday to visit with Nick's side of the family and I thought that maybe with a change of scenery, we would have a good run. We went running in beautiful Celery Flats, great trails and nature all around -- started running and along came the frustrations and mind trap -- I was stuck in a rut and mad about it. I had another moment in the run and broke down, but finished the run. I had know idea what was wrong with me at that point and was frustrated because no matter how supportive Nick was, I felt like I was bringing him down. But he kept telling me that we were in it together no matter what. That equaled to 3 sucky runs in a row. We spent Monday helping Nick's mom move and decided on Tuesday to give ourselves a rest/break from the day before. Wednesday brought another run, I wasn't thrilled to run, but knew that we needed to keep going in order to not break our routine. It was 90 degrees yesterday (Wednesday); we had known this before hand, so we researched some local trails and decided to run at Ken-O-Sha Park off of 32nd and Kalamazoo in Grand Rapids -- I believe the trail is just over a mile and it was shaded for a majority of the run, so it was much cooler! We tied up our running shoes, hydrated, and headed out  -- and guess what? WE HAD A GREAT RUN! I broke the mental trap yesterday. There were some moments where I would start to focus on my breathing too much and I would ask Nick to start talking about something and it helped! As long as I wasn't over thinking, I was able to plug through it. Running on an asphalt path helped relieve some pressure off our bodies, cement is tougher to run on. We ran for a brief moment on a dirt trail and I loved the feeling of it, it was a lot softer and easier, maybe we will look into some more trails in the near future. We know that in this journey we will face hurdles and more mental blocks but, through the last three miserable runs, came a small victory and it is encouraging to know that there is a light at the end of it all -- just as there is in life.