Breath.

     Here I am, squishing my pillows and fluffing my comfortable, attempting to get comfortable in my queen sized bed, in my apartment for one, accompanied by a sleepy dog and cat who howls at my door at all hours of the night. I have a bottle of Robitussin sitting on my night stand and I have clung to this bottle all evening, it has become my life support and has helped subdue my cough with in the last 12 hours. I realized tonight while watching a movie that my cough has consumed every fiber of my being to the point where I have lost the ability to produce a laugh. My throat is torn to shreds but, I can still speak and carry on a conversation. So as I am sinking into my soft, slumberous bed, one word comes to mind: breath.
     God has given me breath. As much as I have complained and ached over this cough, I have forgotten that under this exhausting frustration I have misplaced thankfulness. Then I began to think about my work; about the team of people that are coming into my work place in the next week to make sure that we are up to par on policies, and what I could say to them if they asked me what my organizations policy was. This is what I would tell them, "Well, to be honest, I am not sure what our mission is word for word, but this is where I can find it...." and then I would proceed to tell them that, "I am here to serve and to love these kids. Kids that have stories I couldn't even fathom. Kids who are broken and need the support so that they can be the best they can be. So that they can have a future and dream!" God has given my kids breath. Just as he has given me breath. And I am not quite sure where I am going with this but I know that He began with Adam and Eve, two people, placed in the middle of a garden.
     Genesis 2:7 "Then the Lord God took dust from the ground and formed a man from it. He breathed the breath of life into the man's nose, and the man became a living person." Just like that God make Adam. He gave breath to Adam as He has to me. I am living a life for what? What I am living for? To eat the forbidden fruit? Am I living for the material possessions, for things that are just temporary? Just as this cough has consumed me, so will the temporary things of this world. I have a voice, I am able to speak above the consuming sin and temptations. He hears me. I may have lost my ability to laugh right now but He is waiting to fill my life with an everlasting joy. I just need to give Him my all.
     Acts 8:36 "While they were traveling down the road, they came to some water. The officer said, "Look, here is water. What is stopping me from being baptized?"  What am I waiting for? What are we waiting for? What holds us back from being completely drenched in the Holy Spirit? What keeps us from allowing God to dwell in our hearts and consume our lives? For me it's fear. It's temptation. It's the lack of confidence. I am afraid that if I allow Him to consume my life, that I may lose my sight of who I really am. I am not confident in my ability to completely devote myself to Him and not be tempted by outer things. God is sitting here, telling me to breathe. Just breathe. Dwell in peace and He will be there.